Tuesday, July 06, 2004

你結了婚嗎?

女孩子到了一定年紀,總被久未碰面的親戚與新知舊友,追問閣下是否已嫁作馮婦。

對仍小姑獨處的人來說,這類問題最令人不安,此話既出,輕則輕微腦震盪,人變得恍恍惚惚,食不知其味;重者天旋地轉,遠處擊落一記悶雷般,內心即時像倒翻五味架,萬般滋味最重是心酸味。

為什麼別人就是不願意放過人家,好端端的相逢或再遇,良辰美景,風花雪月之時,卻平白掃上一抺灰?

我恨人家打聽或直接問我可曾結婚,因為婚不一定要結,好事壞事同樣不一定要做或不做,在追求自由民主之時,這些範疇也要爭取其獨立性呀!

一大段話源自午飯時已婚同事的妙語連珠之迴響。她說女孩子怎樣都好,也要結一次婚,否則年紀再大,別人問起時便得啞口無言了。告訴人家你仍獨身嗎?多數的即時詮釋是:哦!一定是脾氣太壞,沒人能忍受。或是:眼角高囉!嫌這嫌那,最後人家也不要她了。完全是冤枉,但都藏在心裡,沒有道出來,故此你也苦無平反的機會。吃不下去?這個惡名還是要恨恨嚥下。

那麼回答別人結婚又離婚呢?啊!這樣人們反而很順理成章地接受,因為離婚的普遍性,遠超過不婚的普遍性嘛!

社會的價值觀真是愈來愈玄妙了,對與錯沒有名顯的分界線,不合宜、被潮流淹沒的真理比比皆是,歪理不合理的卻為大多數人趨之若鶩。有時候不禁懷疑,到底我是瘋子,還是周圍的人都變了瘋子。

要是有人問起我的婚姻狀況,也許我會選擇沉默,因為我最抗拒別人揚著正義之旗幟,將他們認為正確的人生必然軌跡強加於我身上。解釋被扭曲成另一種她願意相信的理解,彼此之間不曾存在著溝通,誠意吐露心事變成荒誕的虛情假意,這樣不如一開始便不聞不問,不了解總好過誤解,不相知勝過互相勉強。

人生不是這樣的。是那樣其實也不是真的完全明瞭,我只是在撇除不對的東西,更接近人生的意義。 

5 Comments:

Blogger 阿穎 said...

Yeah ! 我完全认同你的说法。。^---^

5:02 pm  
Blogger eyer said...

呢個問題係傳統長輩對後輩的「關心問候」常用語。新一代自由戀愛左咁多年,女性經濟獨立,單身更是潮流,加上受西方私隱觀的薰陶,呢類問題(問候)對年輕一代的確是種沖撞,很煩厭。

12:22 am  
Blogger winking said...

各位所言甚是,但同輩的竟也有不明所以之人,說什麼你的真命天子還未有出現云云...要等真命天子嗎?何來真命天子?跟等運到好像是如出一徹呀!
我還是等運到好了...

9:14 am  
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It can't work in fact, that is exactly what I believe.
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