I am not Hongkongese?! Maybe I am a monster

Yesterday, my classmate Linda said to me, "你都唔似香港人嘅...". I was shocked, then she continued to explain it to me.

She thought I am full of apathy, always wholeheartedly to help others. I said other classmates also thought she's very nice but she said it is because of politeness, which is different from my enthusiasm on helping others.

She said she is a bit selfish, as what the majority of Hongkongese did and I am so outgoing and willing to offer helps to others with no intention. She said she was inspired by me...

I told her I will be the model for a senior student who's going to have the CIDESCO's exam on next Wed. She's specializing on facial acupuncture and she will put needles on my face.

She's a bit annoyed and worried about me. She said there's a possibility that my nerves will be ruined if the person is not professional enough to provide the treatment. I told her I accepted her request because it's hard for the student to find a model who is not afraid of needles on their faces and I am fine to offer my help without anxiety.

She kept on shaking her head and couldn't believe that someone like me will risk their lives for helping others to accomplish somethings. To be honest, I tried the facial acupuncture on my cheeks before and I am okay on that, so I am very willing to help the student even I don't know her.

Am I risking my lives? I don't know, but my heart tells me it's a right direction to go so I will move on without fear.

I might be silly in the eyes of others but I love my personality and happy with myself...

Go! Fighting!

Negative state of emotion of mine

This term we got the Anatomy & Physiology IIIb (bones, joints & muscles), Pathology, Bach Flower Remedies, Aromatic Chemistry & Pharmacology, Aromatherapy Foundation, Aromatic Massage, Reflexology, Lymphatic Drainage, Tinting & Earpieceing and Service Anatomy from Mon to Fri, 09:00 to 15:30 or 09:00 to 17:30.

On every Mon and Tue, we have 4 quizzes - 2 on Anatomy & Physiology IIIb, 1 on Pathology and 1 on Bach Flower Remedies, therefore, every Sun and Mon night, I needed to sacrifice my sleeping time for studying...

Last Sat & Sun, I spent 2 whole days at home to study and slept only 3 to 4 hours on the Sun and Mon nights.

I am fine with Bach Flower Remedies and Pathology, but not on Anatomy & Physiology IIIb, as the origin and insertion of different muscles, surfaces of bones are very confusing...omg, it's so easy to mix up everythings! I have no alternatives but did the revision again and again...but still forgot everythings!!! How terrible you can imagine?

I am too tired and couldn't concentrate at all. Then I lost half of the marks in one of the quizzes. I was so regreted that I don't really looked at the questions carefully...This is a very good lession to me. After this failure, I spent a lot of time on my study and got full marks on the 4 quizzes this week.

I summarized the notes on the system cards, highlighted important parts and even drew the bones and muscles on a hard white card to facilitate my revision. I wrote the details on the back of the cards so I can look at the front for the bones/muscles, then think about the origins, insertions and actions. Turn to the back and check if it's correct or not.

For the aromatic chemistry assignment (my topic is Rose essential oil), I read a lot of aromatherapy books, searched in internet for the information. I paid a lot of effort to finalize my assignment, include all the available information and lovely pictures to add value to it.

For the poster, I got the pictures from magazines and I spent around one and a half hour to draw the roses (Rosa Centifolia and Rosa Damascena), filled the color.

I rehearse my presentation 3 times on last night, prepared the rose water in a spray bottle, took the real rose Rosary from the drawer as a tool for my presentation.

I am the only student who presented by today as I will be the CIDESCO model for a senior student next week so I couldn't show up in class at that time. I got the permission from the lecturer last week to do this today and worked hard to prepare for today's presentation.

I prepared everythings, the cohesive tape to fix the poster on the board, the materials to be shared with the class, the system cards as a reminder.

Finally it's over. My classmates greeted me for the excellent performance of my presentation. My lecturer, Joycelyn also highly appreciated my work and said it's very entertaining and fantastic...

I should be happy especially when the response was far beyond my expectation, but it didn't bring much pleasure to me...

I started to become apathetic again, which was happened when I was 15.

Everythings seems so unreal. Everybody arounds me said I am good at that and that, so I started to doubt about my ability again...

If I am so perfect according to them, why I feel so alone and detached from others? They all concern and care about me, but I still have a strong feelings that I am alone.

And I believe that, all this is just an illusion. One day all will pass away, I still on my own...

Maybe that's the reason why I wanted to stand back. I don't want to be hurted again. I should stay in my cave, licking my wounds on my heart...

No one really cares about me. Even if it's not true, I need to persuade myself that this is the reality, in order to prevent the tumour...

They said I am always over-enthusisic, indeed, I just work my best to pull myself back to the world, to the people only.

BTW, 2 more weeks to go before the summer term break. It will be all over soon, but the stress on upcoming quizzes and exams is just too much to bear…

No matter what, I think I can overcome it. I have the courage and energy to do that.

Another Magical Moment

I took this picture in the school library yesterday...

It symbolizes my wonderful school life in Sydney and the scene hit me vigorously at that moment...

It triggers my emotion and that moment was a magical moment to me...

I experienced a lot of magical moment, coz I used my heart to view the world...

Always believe in myself, always appreciate the things I experienced...

Now I am fully charged...with +ve energy!

因為愛,所以存在...

同學們常問我這個問題: 怎麼你每天都這麼充滿幹勁與朝氣呢?體內的能量好像源源不絕,像永不竭息般?可以告訴我有什麼秘訣與竅門嗎?

遇到這樣的問題,我總是不懂如何作答,因為我也不知道原因呢~我想,那是由於我總保持正面的思想吧?!遇到困難與挫折,就當是人生的一個考驗,藉著它們而不斷改進,從而達至完滿.

你可能會認為我是在痴人說夢話吧?但我必須很切實地告訴你,這可是我心裡真正的想法啊~而且我一直在任性地活著,按照自己的方式,將很多現實問題都拋諸腦後,不切實際地活出自己的信念.

自從來到澳洲以後,我的生命更加豐富了,那並不是說有很多娛樂與活動,而是我與人的互動加深了很多. 充實的校園生活,繁忙緊張的考試與作業,大家一起奮鬥與努力,互相扶持與鼓勵,每一天,我都活在愛的喜悅中…

同學們對我很好啊~在她們眼中的我是這樣的美好: 聰明,能幹,用功,漂亮,善良,很會照顧別人,懂得體諒別人的感受,有時候有點莽撞,經常鬧出不少笑話…她們對我倚賴,她們熱烈地跟我打招呼,她們用力地擁抱著我,說很想念我 (其實不過是沒見面幾個小時罷了…),她們只看到我的優點,她們經常稱讚我,給我最動人美麗的笑容…

今天我在想,我的能量泉源,不就是別人對我的愛情嗎?那就是感動的力量囉~

我希望自己在人生旅途上遇到的每一個人,都因為我而擁有幸福的感覺,那怕只是很微小的,短暫的喜悅與感動,只要是曾經那麼的一剎那,你從我的身上感受到愛便足夠了. 與人相處,有快樂也有痛苦與失望,但我希望能藉著’我’這個個體,能帶給別人這樣的訊息: 在人生的旅途中,其實你並不孤單,因為總有善良的人,不懷自私的心,真心地對待你,並為了你的快樂而同樣地感到快樂…是啊~我就是如此傻氣的人,竟然相信並堅持著這個信念,有時候我都不禁覺得詫異,怎麼我連自己的需要都忘記得一乾二淨呢?

那是因為,我看到你眼中那感動的目光,感覺到從你手中所傳來的激動情感,我那卑微的生命,能這麼一次地燃亮了你的心,你的生命,讓你能走出陰霾,重新相信愛情的存在,那麼我…就滿足了.

我不會後悔沒有好好地為自己而活,因為這種生活方式,就是我活著的意義.

今後,我們都會循著自己的軌道繼續向前邁進,離別的日子想是不遠囉,無論將來會是怎樣,或許我們只是曾這麼短暫地擦身而過,但我會永遠記得每一個人在那感動的瞬間,臉上所流露的那燦爛的愉悅笑容...

這,比起世上任何美麗的花朵與瑰麗的珠寶,都更漂亮奪目…

I LOVE U ALL!!! :D

傻傻的勇氣/楊子樸(VENK) 演唱:楊子樸(VENK)
曲:楊子樸(VENK)
詞:Amanda　
最猛的是我有 傻傻的勇氣
如果沒有奇蹟 我創造一個給妳
好的壞的都是我的 要撐到底
妳讓我相信我可以

夢想緊緊握在手中
人就能自信滿滿的向前走
希望 收藏在胸口心
就會學會 要說NO 拒絕脆弱
因為妳 在我的左右
因為心中有彩虹
( 妳就是最閃亮的那顆星星 深深吸引了我全部的力量 oh 我確定你就是我的唯一 Oh Baby you are my only love )

最猛的是我有 傻傻的勇氣
如果沒有奇蹟 我創造一個給妳
好的壞的都是我的 要撐到底
妳讓我相信我可以

傷痛 讓我開始不同
我哭過 更加成熟 決心已啟動
希望 收藏在胸口
心就會學會 要說NO 拒絕脆弱
因為妳 在我的左右
因為心中有彩虹
( 妳就是最閃亮的那顆星星 深深吸引了我全部的力量 oh我確定你就是我的唯一 Oh Baby you are my only love )

最猛的是我有 傻傻的勇氣
如果沒有奇蹟 我創造一個給妳
好的壞的都是我的 要撐到底
妳讓我相信我可以

最猛的是我有 傻傻的勇氣
如果沒有奇蹟 我創造一個給妳
好的壞的都是我的 要撐到底
妳讓我相信我可以

曾經受傷的我 以為世界 只剩寂寞
是妳找回我笑容
妳的溫柔 陪我 堅持到最後

最猛的是我有 傻傻的勇氣
如果沒有奇蹟 我創造一個給妳
好的壞的都是我的 要撐到底
妳讓我相信我可以

最猛的是我有 傻傻的勇氣
如果沒有奇蹟 我創造一個給妳
好的壞的都是我的 要撐到底
妳讓我相信我可以

Silly and Stupid...

歹勢,今天西門慶突然拋出一句話: 吳小姐,你明晚不用煮飯了,我打算弄幾個小菜,邀請你,房東和一位朋友共進晚膳啊~

(心情即時直線滑落...我才不要跟你們搞什麼聯誼喇,而且你又不是我朋友的媽媽,會弄撚手住家菜,放過我吧! =.=)

基於上次的經驗,直接拒絕他恐怕會令他覺得我不給他面子,於是我不置可否地回應說:不用這麼客氣喇...

與其跟兩個無聊透頂的男人吃飯(還有神秘人乙件),我寧可餓著肚子好了,況且我也不是有友無類的人,道不同不相為謀也,勉強沒幸福嘛~

Can they leave me alone? I am just a tenant. I pay the rent and don't expect (want) any further human interaction...

My house owner always ask me to give him advise on his son's diet and the flatmate keeps on annoying me by telling me his past history and financial status....

Who cares? And they are deaf too, always turn on the TV and Hi Fi to max. volume...that is noise pollution!!!

The only fun is, their conversation is so funny just like Mcdull and Mcmug....wakakakakakaka....

Such a man!!! Vomit...

氣頂!這世上怎麼會有這種狂妄自大, 滿身銅臭的[核突佬],整天不停在吹噓自己有多能幹多偉大,運氣有多好,全人類靠他討生活,彷彿地球是圍著他而運行轉動,那態度與氣焰,說真的實在讓我倒胃口!!!我嘔.....

此語言乏味,面目可憎之市井之徒,就是我的flatmate,西門慶是也!!!(如果我是信佛的,大概現在我會嗟嘆上輩子沒燒好香吧?!)

這西門慶,不熟絡的時候還像個人,交談多了才露出其真面目來,二字形容之,混球!!!

我這人算是頗有量度的,很能容納別人與自己的相異之處,然而整天不停地被迫聽著瘋子在大放厥詞,誰還受得了呢,今天我在想,要是你老兄再在我面前瞎扯,重複那說了數十遍的個人發跡史的話,我鐵定會丟他一句:Come on! 又是這些,你可不可以有點新意?

恐怕到時候他會氣得面紅耳赤吧? 反正我才不管他老兄高不高興.

對於他經常讚賞我廚藝多了得,人多聰明醒目,我一直也很不以為然,說真的我可不打算跟他做朋友,因為大家徹頭徹尾就是不同的人種嘛;我可不想整天在聽著人家在自吹自擂,說只需個多星期就可以賺廿萬.

我很想跟他說,你擁有更多的錢,你有多風光與我可干?難道你以為這樣便令我覺得你很了不起嗎?我早說過品德比錢財更重要,整天將這些事情掛在嘴邊的人,根本是個老粗罷了.

他又經常在我面前盛讚房東有多好,又說房東對我比其他的租客特別好,語氣帶有很重的暗示,這很令我反感,後來他又重複說了多遍,於是我只得回應說:你這麼欣賞他,你是女的就好了,那你可以嫁給他喇~

誰知他好像察覺不出我是在揶揄他,忍無可忍之下,我只得語氣冷淡地說,他有多好與我可干?你也很奇怪喇,這些實在跟我扯不上關係啊~ (對不起啊,房東,雖然你是個怪人但也畢竟是個好人嘛,但沒法子喇,只得犧牲你了...)
以為告一段落,可以不用再解釋什麼的時候,西門慶竟然開始透露他已經離婚,又不時強調[大把女人鍾意我,排大隊等我娶]...

我咄!!! 他這些言行真的很讓人[反胃],既然你有這麼多女人在排隊等你娶,你又為何要在一個根本不懂得(?)欣賞你的人面前尋求認同呢?恐怕只惹來對方的輕蔑與反感罷了...

我可不管他是否真如他口中所說般這麼富有(1年賺2百幾萬喎),但就他個人的品行而言,已經沒有相互溝通的必要...試想, 一個會說前妻壞話,又經常在房東背後說他如何被騙婚被妻子拋棄,最近又如果積極找老婆的男人,還算是個堂堂男子漢嗎? (他說東家長西家短時還說自己不是在說人家閒話啊~)

前兩天他還在吹噓親戚因為聽取他的意見而在股市賺大錢,我聽他說這起無聊話已經到達崩潰的程度,於是索性不給他任何反應,反正我才懶理他的感受...

昨天他需要開車到Hurstville處理個人事務,問我是否要搭順風車,我婉拒了,結果當晚他就不給我好臉色,經常以說話[單打]我...

[反轉豬肚就是臭糞],如此男人,[執到]都要自刎...(要是你是我,可能想法會比我更惡毒喇~)

以下節錄米蘭昆德拉的文章,因為這很貼切地形容我的感受...

『我知道你一向是個爽直的人，你自己對這一點很驕傲。可是，請你想想這個問題：『為什麼』要說實話？是什麼強迫我們這麼做？為什麼必須把誠實看做是一種美德？假設你遇到一個瘋子，他說他自己是魚，我們每一個人也都是魚。你會和他爭論嗎？你會在他面前脫掉衣服，好讓他看看你沒有魚鱗嗎？你會當他的面對他說你心裡真正想的嗎？你說嘛！』

他的哥哥沈默以對，艾德華繼續說：『要是你對他說實話，把你對他真正的想法告訴他，這意思就是說，你同意和一個瘋子進行嚴肅的對話，你同意你自己也是個瘋子。我們所處的這個世界正是這個樣子。如果你執意要當一個人的面說實話，這就表示你嚴肅的看待他。嚴肅的看待一件根本不嚴肅的事，意味著自己也要喪失自己的嚴肅，我啊，我為了不要嚴肅看待瘋子，不要自己也變成瘋子，就『必須』說謊。』

--SMESNE LASKY by Milan Kundera

新登場!!!--Homemade Natural Healing Lip Balm

Wing獸Homemade Natural Healing Lip Balm (for Cosmetic Chemistry's assignment)

Ingredients:
15gm beeswax
5gm cocoa butter
5gm honey
65ml jojoba oil
5ml carrot infused oil
5ml calendula infused oil
3 drops sandalwood essential oil
2 drops myrrh essential oil

Benefits:
wonderful for healing dry, cracked and sored lips.

Remarks:
After use, people think their lips problem had been improved. A lot of merits to me, hahaha...:D
Quote from my audience: "We feel good!!!"

I chose this product coz my schoolmate, Haeri has a dry, sored lips. I made this for her, to improve her lips' condition.

So this is the power of love. Whenever you want to help others, you got the power to get things done...

光影記事-我在悉尼的日子

今天受同學Kazumi之邀,到她家中作客,小女子自告奮勇,製作家鄉菜讓大家一嘗東方小炒之風味...:p

近黃昏之時告別眾人,想起去年這個日子的種種,情緒直插谷底...

如是者又過了一年,心情依舊,鐵石心腸的人依舊鐵石心腸...

唯一不同的是,傷心的感覺沉澱了昇華了,於是它化成錐心泣血的痛...

一點點地啃蝕掉我的知覺...

或許有一天我能變成手中的提線木偶,那時我也該感到慶幸,因為我終可明白木偶的感覺...